So...Another full circle comes to a close - isnt it ever so lovely? Started "eating healthy", started gaining weight; stopped giving a shit; started drowning myself in foods, gained SHITLOADS of weight, got new strechmarks; started feeling crappy -----> and now I am here again. Sitting alone on my bed at three fucking AM in the morning and downloading music to go "running" to (like I can go running with all that fat just hanging off of me). I've had a good 3 or 4.000 calories today; or maybe less, I dont want to think about it - way, way too much. Why do I even bother? It's not as though this time will end any different than the other seven gazillion times I tried to loose/gain/keep the weight. Argh.

Ok, positive thinking....my metabolism is going to be unbelievably inefficient now, so if I cut down to 500 or so a day, I should get very quick first results. I can start thinking about what to do once it slows down then (like I dont already know what I will fucking do then)

Cheers